In the meantime...

These days I identify with Asterix – the only cartoon I continued to watch as an adult. In the cartoon before something drastic is about to happen they always say “Meanwhile...” That’s when the daily life of the inhabitants in a small Gallic village is described: Asterix flirting, Obelix continuing to care for the obelisks, the druid, Getafix, researching different herbs… life goes on! Then all of a sudden there is the war, chaos and then all goes back to normal again.

I am not sure why I like this cartoon, maybe because it is classified as a historical comedy so I can say that it is a way to improve my general knowledge and it is funny too. :))

Anyway, to draw a parallel – in September when I arrived here it was all very exciting, everything was new, I didn’t know a single person here and I had never worked in a church before. It sounds frightening but for me it was also challenging; I have learned a lot and am still learning, I have had good and bad moments, I have met lots of different people. After 7 months here, I find myself in a routine again; day after day, week after week just repeating the same things. This Saturday I am going to France with some team mates; not sure what we will do there, but any change is a good change. When I come back to England I will have just over two months left which I am certain will fly by. Having to think about what to do next year, entertaining some friends who will come to visit me and maybe being given some new tasks in the summer term will contribute to that.

So what have I been up to in the meantime?!
Well, I can’t say that I wasn’t looked after. Our boss, Sarah took us to Oxford. We spent a day there walking around, sneaking into the college gardens; it’s a university town and it seems a nice place to study. I thought it was very pretty, with the charm of Italian towns.
I also started dancing classes – never danced before but I love it; for 28 days I didn’t eat any sugar – it was a real struggle because I have a sweet tooth; finally started jogging regularly – which I am very proud of; read a couple of books; hooked on Tony Campolo’s talks. That is about it!

These photos show Oxford! Little bit of culture...


...and non culture....


Sometimes it sounds as if I’m complaining; maybe I do complain but I like life as it is – a circle, now and then broken.

My guardian angels

I feel as if I should share this with the whole wide world!
It has been five and a half months since I’ve been in England and working for St. Stephens, and I have learnt a lot and seen very different church practice from in my country. What I didn’t know before and I was never taught in my religious studies classes or in my home church is that we as Christians are able to have a relationship with our God. Relationship – we all know what that means. We all have some kind of relationship with our families, friends or boyfriends/girlfriends. So we can agree that it works both ways, you give and receive. It is the same with God! He talks to us, all we need to do is to expect, to listen and to recognize His voice.

I kind of believed this but was still very sceptical and frustrated because I had come to a Church where people had a relationship with God and all this seemed very normal for them. I had the feeling that God didn’t want to speak to me and that I didn’t belong here. Until I recognised His voice! I learnt that He often speaks in a still small voice or through other people. It happened like this for me!

When I was at the TNT weekend away we broke into small groups and than we were supposed to listen to God and pray one for another. I felt uncomfortable because this was very new for me and I didn’t hear anything. But one girl got for me the very well known Psalm of David, Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

This has always been one of my favourite passages in the Bible. But of course my sceptical and suspicious nature told me that it was just a famous Psalm and that it didn’t speak to me.
Then a couple of months later out of the blue I got a letter from a friend of mine with this drawing.

In case you don’t realise she has written a verse from Ps 23. in Croatian.
Again I thought the same! It was just coincidence! But later on when I was preparing the devotions for my team mates with my mentor she mentioned, guess what? Ps23!?
Even though I am a tough nut I had a chat with her about it and realized that all this time God had been trying to speak to me and I had been refusing to hear. All these people have been Christians for a long time and they know the Bible well and they could have chosen any verse.
It was just what I needed! God’s comfort, words from Him telling me that I am not alone.

Just to clarify for those who don’t know about my life:
From the age of 7 I lived in a Children’s home together with about 60 other kids aged from 3 to 18. Then during the last five years I moved around a lot, but I always felt that I was not alone and I made friends easily and during my life there have been various people looking after me. Practically nobody brought me up but I turned out well. I hope! :) You can call this coincidence but I acknowledge that it was God guarding me. It is generally thought that to build a friendship takes years but my experience tells me that when Jesus is my friend I don’t need to be afraid of loneliness. Things just happen in the best way!

Maybe this is strange for you and I find it hard to speak about because I am afraid that people will think I am mad or fanatical; but as our worship pastor said people thought Jesus was a fanatic. So I think I can cope with it!

I would like introduce you to some of my guardian angels as I like to think of them!

Melanie and Vlado are a lovely couple from Croatia. She is a pastor in my home church in Rijeka and he is a lawyer to be, a technology fanatic and hot Simpson’s fan. Strange combination, I know! He cannot always solve my computer problems and sometimes I need to fill their fridge but they will always give me a warm home and chat with me.

Becca and Rich are another lovely couple but from England. She works in the church office and he is an editor. Becca likes good food and Gordon Ramsay; he likes cycling. Both are very passionate Christians and active in the church. I have known them for 5 and a half months and to be honest I didn’t find it very easy to get on with Becca at first, but now I love them and feel as if I have known them for ever. She can tell by my attitude when I am not ok. Sometimes I pop into their flat but I don’t always get offered chocolate or their full attention, which I would certainly expect from British people but they always listen and give support!

My host family Martin and Annette who I wrote about in my first blog (http://rada-albatros.blogspot.com/2006/10/hello-everybody.html) are like a real family to me: supportive, caring and they often counsel me. I have quite a definite point of view and they help me to see things from a different angle, more objectively.

Pastor Luke is a very unusual pastor who likes jewellery (he has pierced ears), has a huge tattoo, never wears robes, may not be big in height but has a big serving heart. He is always ready to help, sincere but kind. I wish I could have some of his characteristics.

There are many more but those at the moment are the closest and I don’t want to bore you.

The beauty of the countryside

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him the son of man that you care for him? Ps 8: 3-4

On Boxing Day I went to Cornwall for a few days together with the Duffys. It was just what I needed after 4 months work and all the Christmas busyness; a peaceful place on the coast. The sea is for me very important and I always think that if someone told me that I could choose a place to live, anywhere in the world, my only wish is that it should be on the coast. Warm weather and mild winters are desirable but not necessary! :)
The Cornish coast is beautiful, wild and dramatic; nothing like in Croatia!!! Also there are tides - high tide when there is not much beach and low tide when there is lots of sand.

The company was excellent and the days passed quickly. During the day we walked on the cliffs where the only noise that we could hear was the crashing of the waves, looking around the nearest towns, surfing and unavoidable browsing in the shops and doing shopping at which Martin was the hottest. In the evenings we gathered together and played some party games and chatted. It was very relaxing!

The other thing that I like about Cornwall is that when you are there it seems as if modernisation hasn’t reached there. Even though it is the most popular place for holidays in Britain they are still without a motorway, the coast area is not so built up,
there are no big apartment buildings, you need do your shopping for supper at the old fashioned family butcher… In some ways it seems that time stops when you are there, at least in the winter.

I needed to take this picture of the old manual scale. I found it in one of the local shops there. It reminds me of my childhood. Until I was 7 years old I lived in a small village where the fruit
man came in his van a few times a week, honking while he drove down the street and stopping in front of people’s houses selling fruit and vegetables. The manual scale was the main part of his equipment.

This is just a cute photo of a doctor's surgery that Andy took.

St. Stephens is a church with 600 members and it is impossible to know all of them: so I am especially glad that Andy, one of the worship leaders came with us and I had the chance to get to know him better. I discovered that he is more than a pretty face. :) He is a wonderful man – funny, caring, patient, relaxed, godly… Only I wish that his politeness wouldn’t stop him being frank when need be.

A bit of everything...

I realise that you can’t live in Britain and not talk about the weather. Why?? Lately I have been lucky enough to experience all the beauty of the British weather - changeable and foggy; it makes you notice the sunny days. I like to sleep with the curtains open, because I like it when, ideally, the sun or at least the daylight wakes me up. But for days the only thing that I can see from my window is grey sky and it stays like this the whole day. It makes me feel like staying in bed. This scene reminds me of my favourite Elvis Presley song – In the ghetto. The song starts like this: “Cold and grey Chicago morning…” it is a very good song but quite depressing.
Anyway as they said “After the rain comes the sun.” and I won’t complain anymore because the weather is improving.

Christmas was amazing here!!! As in my country, there is a lot of food, but the whole atmosphere is very different. It seems that Christmas here lasts longer. This is good in many ways because it gives you enough time to celebrate with everyone: friends, colleagues, families.
The church with all the candles and the decorations looked beautiful. The carol services were well done and moving. I don’t know how to explain but I was very happy to be part of all this.
I was involved in all the church preparations and parties from the beginning of December so by Christmas Day I was really fed up and I couldn’t wait to finish it. On Christmas Day I helped with the Christmas lunch for people on their own, together with Martin and Annette. That was nice but I didn’t have any more will and I was just thinking about my holiday in Cornwall where I was going on Boxing Day. So I believe for those people I wasn’t very good company, which I feel bad about. But you can’t blame me! :)

CHRISTMAS EVE – after the midnight service, which was great, we opened presents. In the photo above I am posing next to the Christmas tree in my Parisian boots which were a present also.

I was brought up in a small village near the farm where my dad used to work. I have seen all the domestic animals: pigs, cows, chickens, horses etc. I have seen and helped also with growing vegetables.
I didn’t think that this was a big deal until recently when I was at one lunch friends my age hadn’t ever seen what horseradish and beetroot look like. They think that those vegetables grow in jars! Of course the part about the jars is a joke. But still I feel lucky knowing that I was able to participate in milking the cows, collecting the eggs, picking the beetroot…

I can see future generations of pupils going into a museum to see all those things, or maybe what is even more popular thematic weekends on the topic “The life of our ancestors!”

Damn average!

I was brought up with the thought that I am average! In the children’s home where I lived and in the schools I attended I was never the worst, never the best. I was just good; a person that people didn’t talk about much. For many years I just accepted this and didn’t try to change anything. I was told that I wasn’t good enough to go to the gymnasium (academic school), or to take part in the lessons for the more able students (which I was very keen to do). Neither was I good enough to join the sports club (I liked basketball… and still do).

You would hardly believe now how very shy and closed I was; I didn’t talk at all. As you would probably guess my self-confidence was well below average.

Over the last few years I have been learning to appreciate myself. I started to believe that I was worthy. I succeeded in gaining a scholarship to go to university. I was very proud about that even though later I needed to quit before I could finish my degree. From my 18th birthday I had to take care of my self alone, and when I was able I tried to take care of others as well.

I gradually changed into a very open and sincere person, which got me into trouble many times. However, I began to think that I was doing well!

Recently something happened that shook my confidence and reminded me of the beginning again. It made me realise that maybe whatever I do I will be just average…but I still don’t know how to cope with this.

This is the story of my life - I am good at table tennis but never the winner, good with people but never the leader, clever but still without a diploma…

Martin said that at some point in my life I will find the things at which I am very good, because everybody does eventually. I consider myself optimistic so I will just say that I hope I will.

At one time I wanted to know my IQ, just because I was curious, but I was never able to take the tests. Now I see that it is maybe better for me that I don’t know!

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose!

Some people here whom I meet weekly regularly ask the question “Did you have a good week?” and often instead of goodbye they say “Have a good week!”

Until now I thought that I had fallen into a routine. Nothing new happens and it is not a nice feeling for a 23 year old girl living without excitement, the same thing every day. It can be depressing. But luckily I can say that last week was very good in many ways.

First I beat Martin at chess. Believe me that is such a big success and a good feeling because he is mathematician and very good at chess. All this helped to boost my ego. So bravo me!

Then I had the chance to get to know my fellow worker Torgeir better. We spent more time together and I really enjoyed it. It is good for both of us because we are in the same situation and it helps to have somebody to share things with. What I like most about him is that he is closer to my culture and he says how he feels and doesn’t try to be nice just to avoid offending me. So he is for me in many ways a relief.

Torgeir pretends to be a tough guy (He think Bruce Willis is a cool guy – Die Hard!?) but he really likes my hugs!

And the icing on the cake! My family treated me to a weekend in Paris! This was extremely nice.

Photos below - finally I was in a city that I knew just from movies and books!

Those who know me well know that travel and chocolate are my favourite things.
Many asked how it was and what I did. I feel like I don’t know what to say. I didn’t go into the Louvre because I am not an artistic type; I don’t fancy looking for hours at pictures and sculpture nor did I go to the top of the Eiffel tower this time - but this was just because we were short of time and also Martin doesn’t have a head for heights. But I like panoramic views and I will go there next year with my Norwegian fellow workers so that I will not miss it. Instead we did a lot of walking and chatting. For me this made for a good relaxing weekend!

One day Andy stayed with us. It was good to have him around but the trouble is that he is always busy. I’m still not sure whether this is because girls are chasing him or because he is an IT expert! Look at this! What a view! I don’t know what Paradise looks like but for sure lying on a beach sounds perfect!

I also had a typical girl’s moment in Paris – shopping troubles! Terrible!!! I saw some boots but they cost quite a lot and I wasn’t sure if I would have the guts to wear them because I am always in casual gear. I could have sat for hours in that department store and still not have decided, but fortunately we didn’t have a lot of time so I decided to buy them at the last minute. My family paid part as my Christmas present so in the end they were not so expensive. Kind of them! Thanks!

Here you are. I am showing my Croatian politeness to British people in a crowded Parisian Department store.

But as you know it can’t always be perfect! When I left Britain it went smoothly but when I came back they treated me as I am a state enemy no.1. All this checking of my passport and questions, as if my visa was not valid. It seems as if they have problems trusting people! My stay was approved by the British consul. He was a nice man and I am sure that he would be offended if he knew about this. :))

Last time when I was on my way back from Croatia a lady from the immigration office asked me what I doing in Britain and I explained. Then she asked how I would benefit from being a volunteer and it was on the tip of my tongue to say that my real intention was to marry a British chap and stay here forever. Luckily I am cleverer than that so in order to spare myself more inconvenience I said that I just wanted to do volunteer work.
If they were as cautious with all passengers no matter where they came from maybe no bad things would ever happen!?

After all this I am still answering “Yes, I had a good week”. But I know that things are changing and with blisters on my feet and a smile on my face I have broken the routine.

My view of Britain and British culture

It has been three months now since I arrived here, so I have enough content for this blog but I have a feeling that as time passes I will have more and more to write on this topic!

On this theme some of the first things that foreigners associate with Britain are red phone boxes, double deckers, Shakespeare, tea, politeness… On the way here I read that in Britain you get the feeling that you have come to a land of fairytales and now I understand what this writer was speaking about. You only need to look at the names of towns, roads, streets and pubs such as: Crown road, Strawberry Hill, The Crown pub, the Royal Mail, the Royal Academy, King’s Lynn, Queens Park Rangers… Here the Queen still awards knighthoods and you see people with titles like Sir or Lord.

During our first two days in London we were given an introduction to British culture by people from the Church Mission Society. Our accommodation in the Indian YMCA didn’t help this cause much! But anyway I admit, sadly, that some of the stereotypes which they talked about are true:

TEA
Wherever you go you will be provided with a cup of tea and a biscuit. This I can easily cope with because I have always enjoyed drinking tea… but the biscuits are starting to worry me since I notice that my hips are becoming wider! There is another thing; you never notice much difference between tea and coffee. Something often goes wrong, the tea is too strong or the coffee is too weak, or both!

POLITENESS
I still struggle with this. British people often think me rude because I am direct and often say things without wrapping them up carefully first. But the trouble is that even if I want to talk like this I just don’t know how to!

All these unnecessary words like “Sorry!” and “Thank you!” and questions like “How are you?” without meaning it, but just because they don’t know what else to say, can sometimes be very annoying. Can’t they just be quiet instead?!

HUMOUR
British people often overestimate their sense of humour. I can’t remember how many times I have heard “We have a dry humour, you will not understand.” Maybe this works for Americans, but don’t worry it is not so good!
Recently I went to a comedy night but I didn’t laugh a lot because they were either speaking too fast or I didn’t know enough about British history and current affairs. I am getting there - someday maybe I will do stand up! :)

COLDNESS
In the wider world British are known as a cold nation. They will often call total strangers “Love” or “Darling” but on the other hand be quite cold to their families, partners and friends. What a contradiction!!! But I should also say that church people are a little bit warmer, although still not enough!

FOOD
How creative is it to have fish and chips or sausages and mash for your national dish? But at least they have a big choice of other cuisine! Jamie Oliver is my favourite chef and for me the second best dessert in the world is British trifle (the first is tiramisu!).

Soon after I came I needed to charge my mobile phone and then I realised that they have one more pin than everybody else in the world. Why! Aren’t two enough? It is enough for us! Or is this just to make life more difficult for us foreigners? Anyway, my creative Norwegian friend Torgeir had the idea of putting a key in the third hole in the socket. It really works but it doesn’t seem a good permanent solution (I hope you see why) so Annette bought an adapter for me!

The good thing about all this is that, with time, you learn that there is Britain and the rest of the world. You get used to the left side of the road being the right and learn that Scotland Yard is not a playground but where detectives hang out and that fireworks are amazing. British people are very busy so you have to start making appointments well in advance. There are no toothpicks in restaurants or in peoples’ houses so after having a meal you must learn to smile carefully.

Having said all this it is not so bad here!