When I came back home after all my trips abroad a friend said to me: London, Tokyo, Dubrava… Where did it all go wrong?
In fact, where did it all go wrong or has it? Is it that I don’t see returning home in the best light, that I regard living in a part of town which is not the best one as a step down? Or is it just a step on the way up? How many times do you find yourself at a crossroads, because it seems to me that every path I choose leads only to the next crossroads? Will I ever choose a straight road? That’s how I am; full of questions but too few answers, always in the throes of decision-making.
However if I think more positively it has been a valuable experience, I have met a lot of nice people, seen different places and got to know different cultures. Anyway, that’s how people see it. I often wonder why I see only the negative side of it. Whenever memories of past times come up, it just makes me feel sad. The bad times are over and I am happy about that, but the good times are over too and I hate thinking about that. Often I think of people I met and liked, but for some reason I will not see them again and I miss them.
It is easier to look back on life; one can recall one’s ups and downs. I am happy with how things have developed in my life, but I often wonder how it would be if I had chosen a different path. If I had stayed at home, surrounded by the same people all my life, I could have had strong and deep relations with friends and would have been happy, as I would not have wondered how it might have been, because I wouldn’t have experienced anything else. Everything so ordinary, easy, in a way, romantic, how lovely!
In this respect, I don’t regret anything I have done, but keep thinking of ways to prolong my journey. Whatever decision I make I know/hope it isn’t the final one. I have seen a lot of things, but equally I have become aware of how much more I haven’t seen. So many contradictions in me! Happy about everything, but at the same time miserable, keen to be on the move, but at the same time yearning to settle.
For now my suitcase is empty and waiting for another opportunity.
At least it’s good that in my case all roads lead to London.)).
Friday, January 16, 2009
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Culture shock Japan
You might think that everything about this topic has already been said and there is nothing to add, but I still have a wish to write about my experience. Because somehow when things are happening to you it feels unique. As many of you are familiar with, I spent 10 months in England and encountering their customs I thought how different they are from what I am used to, but coming here I realise that there is always a lot of truth in a stereotype and that the farther you go from home the greater the difference in culture.
I should say that there is a certain amount of similarity with England: driving on the left side of the road, being private people and extremely polite. But here it stops! They even have levels of politeness in speaking, something like: words for your nearest and dearest, then words to be polite, then words to be even more polite. I notice that they are very skilful in avoiding any physical contact, here bowing comes in. Unwritten rules about how low and how long your bow should be and how many times you should bow still confuse me, so I just ignore it and only give a greeting. However when I understand it better I might start to bow, it will certainly do my tummy muscles good. :) Speaking with a Japanese friend of mine, I discovered that even at home with parents they don’t kiss or hug each other which for me is unimaginable.
I have noticed that they like colours, the lady passengers come with all the colours of the rainbow on their head; yellow, blue, pink, purple… and also the fish come in all the colours you can think of. Then again – the food!!! When you enter a Japanese restaurant the very first thing that happens is that a wave of smell hits you in the face; the kind of smell that comes from very old sports shoes. Then you might have difficulty finding a comfortable seat because everything is small here and there is not much room between the chair and the table. The other thing which might upset you is the sound and sight of people sucking noodles into their mouth. In the end you might be forced to learn how to use chopstick because the other option is a very small child's fork. The sweets are very often made from beans, and what annoys me so much is that they don’t have any decent sized packets of chocolate and biscuits, they are all very small. Even well known firms like the English one, McVities, make special packets for the Japanese market – a big box has 10 biscuits in it and all of them are packed separately. Ice cream as well is a headache, you can find any weird taste on earth but it is hard to find plain chocolate. And the water!!! It is supposed to be a liquid without smell, taste and colour but not here, their water is bitter.
Since English is an international language you would expect to find somebody who speaks at least very basic English. But the very moment you step on Japanese soil -forget it! This is when your imagination and creativity start working and you find other ways of communicating. Especially if you are like me and find yourself in an unknown town surrounded by lots of people and tall buildings and your duty starts in 20 min time. What do you do? Of course in a panic you ask people around you for directions, but when you encounter uncomprehending looks on all the faces and the only white woman you meet doesn’t speak English either, you run into the first FedEx building, thinking this is an American firm so they will be able to communicate, but you are wrong once again, then a brilliant idea comes to your mind and you draw the boat with its name Asuka II on it and you see a smile on the Japanese lady's face as if a light bulb has been switched on, then you know you are saved. She kindly goes out onto the street with you and points you in the right direction.
By the way, I was running and putting on my stockings in the elevator but I managed to arrive on time.
Japanese script is a story on its own. We use only one script, Roman or Cyrillic in neighbouring countries, the alphabet varies depending on the country but is made up of no more than 35 letters, I would say. But for the Japanese that’s too easy so they make it more interesting. For them one alphabet is not enough, neither is two but three will do and all of them together contain a couple of thousand symbols. Which I don’t see the point of because even people with the highest education don’t know more than two hundred.
Have you ever seen a Japanese book?! Many of them start from the back and the lines are written vertically. All upside down!! Also when you enter a shop everything is in their script as if the tourist and the many foreigners who do business in Japan don’t exist. They like their own words and don’t like to make adjustments for anybody.
In Japan there are very strict rules about gambling so they find a way to get round the law: they still gamble, buying the chips but with no money involved. Nothing in return, only if you are very lucky you could get a t-shirt or a hat. Very clever!
In the shopping malls or markets, you hear from all sides people shouting: “irashamasse”; and that means welcome in Japanese, but I think that somebody should tell them that the word itself doesn’t make you feel welcome if nobody looks at you, smiles or leaves what they are doing to help you. Suppose that’s involves too much thinking for them, especially when they were clever enough to invent machines which would do that for them. Here I am thinking of: small machines in the buses into which you put your money and which tell you if it is not enough, or those in shops which say exactly how much they should give back, robot football team… Now they can rest their brain.
I read a book called Culture shock Japan; and according to the author, when you think that anything around you doesn’t make sense and when you start eating more often than usual in McDonalds, then you are displaying symptoms of culture shock. If that is so, I think I am a sufferer. :)
I should say that there is a certain amount of similarity with England: driving on the left side of the road, being private people and extremely polite. But here it stops! They even have levels of politeness in speaking, something like: words for your nearest and dearest, then words to be polite, then words to be even more polite. I notice that they are very skilful in avoiding any physical contact, here bowing comes in. Unwritten rules about how low and how long your bow should be and how many times you should bow still confuse me, so I just ignore it and only give a greeting. However when I understand it better I might start to bow, it will certainly do my tummy muscles good. :) Speaking with a Japanese friend of mine, I discovered that even at home with parents they don’t kiss or hug each other which for me is unimaginable.
I have noticed that they like colours, the lady passengers come with all the colours of the rainbow on their head; yellow, blue, pink, purple… and also the fish come in all the colours you can think of. Then again – the food!!! When you enter a Japanese restaurant the very first thing that happens is that a wave of smell hits you in the face; the kind of smell that comes from very old sports shoes. Then you might have difficulty finding a comfortable seat because everything is small here and there is not much room between the chair and the table. The other thing which might upset you is the sound and sight of people sucking noodles into their mouth. In the end you might be forced to learn how to use chopstick because the other option is a very small child's fork. The sweets are very often made from beans, and what annoys me so much is that they don’t have any decent sized packets of chocolate and biscuits, they are all very small. Even well known firms like the English one, McVities, make special packets for the Japanese market – a big box has 10 biscuits in it and all of them are packed separately. Ice cream as well is a headache, you can find any weird taste on earth but it is hard to find plain chocolate. And the water!!! It is supposed to be a liquid without smell, taste and colour but not here, their water is bitter.
Since English is an international language you would expect to find somebody who speaks at least very basic English. But the very moment you step on Japanese soil -forget it! This is when your imagination and creativity start working and you find other ways of communicating. Especially if you are like me and find yourself in an unknown town surrounded by lots of people and tall buildings and your duty starts in 20 min time. What do you do? Of course in a panic you ask people around you for directions, but when you encounter uncomprehending looks on all the faces and the only white woman you meet doesn’t speak English either, you run into the first FedEx building, thinking this is an American firm so they will be able to communicate, but you are wrong once again, then a brilliant idea comes to your mind and you draw the boat with its name Asuka II on it and you see a smile on the Japanese lady's face as if a light bulb has been switched on, then you know you are saved. She kindly goes out onto the street with you and points you in the right direction.
By the way, I was running and putting on my stockings in the elevator but I managed to arrive on time.
Japanese script is a story on its own. We use only one script, Roman or Cyrillic in neighbouring countries, the alphabet varies depending on the country but is made up of no more than 35 letters, I would say. But for the Japanese that’s too easy so they make it more interesting. For them one alphabet is not enough, neither is two but three will do and all of them together contain a couple of thousand symbols. Which I don’t see the point of because even people with the highest education don’t know more than two hundred.
Have you ever seen a Japanese book?! Many of them start from the back and the lines are written vertically. All upside down!! Also when you enter a shop everything is in their script as if the tourist and the many foreigners who do business in Japan don’t exist. They like their own words and don’t like to make adjustments for anybody.
In Japan there are very strict rules about gambling so they find a way to get round the law: they still gamble, buying the chips but with no money involved. Nothing in return, only if you are very lucky you could get a t-shirt or a hat. Very clever!
In the shopping malls or markets, you hear from all sides people shouting: “irashamasse”; and that means welcome in Japanese, but I think that somebody should tell them that the word itself doesn’t make you feel welcome if nobody looks at you, smiles or leaves what they are doing to help you. Suppose that’s involves too much thinking for them, especially when they were clever enough to invent machines which would do that for them. Here I am thinking of: small machines in the buses into which you put your money and which tell you if it is not enough, or those in shops which say exactly how much they should give back, robot football team… Now they can rest their brain.
I read a book called Culture shock Japan; and according to the author, when you think that anything around you doesn’t make sense and when you start eating more often than usual in McDonalds, then you are displaying symptoms of culture shock. If that is so, I think I am a sufferer. :)
Friday, January 25, 2008
My Japanese adventure
I am a person who likes to explore, to meet different cultures and people, I just enjoy that. I notice that I am happiest when I move around. There are many places where I like to be, where I feel at home but always after some time I look for a change, routine is something that kills me. So my curious nature is partly to blame for the fact that I find myself here on the other side of the world, far from anything familiar to me. Partly money, partly a wish to travel and partly circumstance.
I have been in Japan a month now and I have a lot to tell, don’t even know where to start and it is sometimes hard to describe the absurd everyday situations here. Until now I have been out of touch because I had a bit of a rough start here, I have been busy trying to learn how things work here and to fit in as fast as possible.
Prepare yourself because I will start my tale from the beginning. I had a wonderful week in London, meeting all my friends and being in church again I felt so blessed, so I charged my batteries for my journey into the unknown. Martin and Annette once again drove me to the airport and made sure that I had everything I needed. The 13 hour flight to Tokyo was very exciting for me, probably like most things you do for the first time. Usually when there is any motion I fall asleep very easily no matter how uncomfortable the seat is, but not this time. I was enjoying the non-stop service, watched three films, kept checking where we were at a given moment on the monitor in front of me, and every now and then, following Annette’s instructions, I had a short walk around the seats looking at the other passengers sleeping. Even the food was very good, I thought. Finally on 19 December around 10 am I arrived at Narita airport and the company agent was waiting for me. Mr. Murimoto, as he introduced himself, took me and the two other girls to a nearby hotel so we could have one night's rest. So that was good, but still not enough considering the next day was the longest day in my life. We woke up at 7am, had breakfast and then I was confronted with the harsh reality. They drove us to the ship, then we were introduced to the rules and safety procedures on the ship, had crew drill, and started work straightaway, with no food and no water. I felt like it was wartime and was just managing to keep from bursting into tears. On duty I wasn’t prepared for speaking only Japanese especially not knowing a word of it, so another misconception I had about how advanced and high-tech Japan is where people speak English was removed. Then I found out that we don’t have internet access either and the fact that I wouldn’t be able to contact my loved ones easily made me very sad, and helpless. The day finished at 10pm and I was able to have a good night's sleep and tried to think through all this and take stock of the situation I had put myself in.
The next two weeks were quite hard for me as well. I was just thrown in the deep end and needed to learn how to swim before I sank. Standing all day, my feet were killing me, so much that I couldn’t walk in the first few ports we visited, all I could think of was where to find somewhere to sit down. I was struggling to: learn Japanese and understand the menu, cope with the routine of laundry washing days and meals, understand the incomprehensible Japanese English of my managers, deal with my stolen bag while finding no help here… My bad sense of direction or lack of it at all was also a big problem for me, especially because the ship is big and it is all the same here and I was lost at regular intervals and my colleagues kept finding that amusing.
Writing this I can tell with certainty that I am a good swimmer. I have learnt enough Japanese to take the orders and every day I'm broadening my vocabulary; I have learnt how to nod my head like all the others when our managers tell us something, making a joint effort later to work out what they want; incredibly I don’t get lost anymore, at least not on the ship; my shoes don't bother me anymore. I could even say that I have started to enjoy it and I could get used to this. Every time waking up in another place and every day starting all over again to be surprised at and amused by the absurd Japanese culture about which I will talk in another post.
PS - If you want to see some photos just click on the right-hand link. :))
I have been in Japan a month now and I have a lot to tell, don’t even know where to start and it is sometimes hard to describe the absurd everyday situations here. Until now I have been out of touch because I had a bit of a rough start here, I have been busy trying to learn how things work here and to fit in as fast as possible.
Prepare yourself because I will start my tale from the beginning. I had a wonderful week in London, meeting all my friends and being in church again I felt so blessed, so I charged my batteries for my journey into the unknown. Martin and Annette once again drove me to the airport and made sure that I had everything I needed. The 13 hour flight to Tokyo was very exciting for me, probably like most things you do for the first time. Usually when there is any motion I fall asleep very easily no matter how uncomfortable the seat is, but not this time. I was enjoying the non-stop service, watched three films, kept checking where we were at a given moment on the monitor in front of me, and every now and then, following Annette’s instructions, I had a short walk around the seats looking at the other passengers sleeping. Even the food was very good, I thought. Finally on 19 December around 10 am I arrived at Narita airport and the company agent was waiting for me. Mr. Murimoto, as he introduced himself, took me and the two other girls to a nearby hotel so we could have one night's rest. So that was good, but still not enough considering the next day was the longest day in my life. We woke up at 7am, had breakfast and then I was confronted with the harsh reality. They drove us to the ship, then we were introduced to the rules and safety procedures on the ship, had crew drill, and started work straightaway, with no food and no water. I felt like it was wartime and was just managing to keep from bursting into tears. On duty I wasn’t prepared for speaking only Japanese especially not knowing a word of it, so another misconception I had about how advanced and high-tech Japan is where people speak English was removed. Then I found out that we don’t have internet access either and the fact that I wouldn’t be able to contact my loved ones easily made me very sad, and helpless. The day finished at 10pm and I was able to have a good night's sleep and tried to think through all this and take stock of the situation I had put myself in.
The next two weeks were quite hard for me as well. I was just thrown in the deep end and needed to learn how to swim before I sank. Standing all day, my feet were killing me, so much that I couldn’t walk in the first few ports we visited, all I could think of was where to find somewhere to sit down. I was struggling to: learn Japanese and understand the menu, cope with the routine of laundry washing days and meals, understand the incomprehensible Japanese English of my managers, deal with my stolen bag while finding no help here… My bad sense of direction or lack of it at all was also a big problem for me, especially because the ship is big and it is all the same here and I was lost at regular intervals and my colleagues kept finding that amusing.
Writing this I can tell with certainty that I am a good swimmer. I have learnt enough Japanese to take the orders and every day I'm broadening my vocabulary; I have learnt how to nod my head like all the others when our managers tell us something, making a joint effort later to work out what they want; incredibly I don’t get lost anymore, at least not on the ship; my shoes don't bother me anymore. I could even say that I have started to enjoy it and I could get used to this. Every time waking up in another place and every day starting all over again to be surprised at and amused by the absurd Japanese culture about which I will talk in another post.
PS - If you want to see some photos just click on the right-hand link. :))
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Monday, November 12, 2007
Memories and slow trains
The other day when I was taking a train from Zagreb to Rijeka
and back, my mp3 was out of battery (don't know how that
happened when I had charged it all night, me and technology
again!?), the only book that I had with me was the Bible and the
journey was endless. And to all who don't know, I have a very vivid
imagination and I am very nostalgic as well. All the way I was
recalling my childhood memories. There is a book that I have wanted
to read since high school, Proust - Combray. I started it and I loved
it, but then I had other things to do and I never got back to it.
Anyway, there is a famous passage when he, as an adult, has a cup of
tea and when he dunks that French cake called a Madeleine into the tea,
the taste of the cake melting under his tongue takes him back to his
childhood and the next few pages are all about that. Don't know why
many people find that boring?! :) I love it because I can identify with
that,I understand how he must have been feeling then. Numerous times
in my life smells, tastes, shapes, things, gestures... make me feel the
same.
Even though trains in Croatia are very slow and very rarely on time, I
prefer to travel that way; not just because they are much cheaper than
buses but also because of the intimacy of the compartment. Chatting with
random people is something that takes me back to my past. And as is
well known, the past is always the best, maybe because we have already
gone through it or, in this particular case, because it brings back my
happiest memories of times that I spent with my family. In the village
where we lived there are just 500 inhabitants now and things there never
change. If you didn't have a car there the only way you could come and go
was by train.
So all you in the western world where the infrastructure was developed
many years ago and who now travel in a fast underground or a train crammed
with people, but still travel alone trying to avoid any possible eye contact
with a stranger, I think you are missing out on something.
I am not a modest person and I have many wishes in life and one of my
wishes related to this subject is to take a journey on the Trans-Siberian
Railway. 15 days in an old style train, sharing a compartment with all kinds
of people, seeing such different places from what I am used to, and all
the wonders of nature there.
Ooh!!Monday, July 23, 2007
...decisions, decisions, decisions...
Ten month in foreign land is a long time. Especially living in somebody house and not need to think of anything else but work was nice break from reality. Now I am home, still need get used on some things, I am not same person anymore and still having mixed feelings about Croatia and England. I look same and I didn’t lose my stupid stubborn attitude but somehow I feel like I don’t fit in here but I don’t quite know where I fit. One of my fears was that I will just continue to live old life, like nothing happen. Maybe is now too early to say, but it seems like my fear comes truth. It is hard to be different person, Jesus disciple in same old surrounding.
On the way home I had good plan: first to take entrance exam for the University and of course pass it and then in autumn go to Zagreb and study it next four years. In the meantime I would spent this summer on the island of Pag in beautiful place called Novalja, where I worked pervious four summer, working there as a waitrosse again. That would be ideally for me. But somehow things went wrong and instead I didn’t pass the exam, I work the most boring job you can find – Souvenir shop (except maybe warehouse, sorry Kristin :). At least I have good boss and I am in Novalja. But even there I can find remark; I live with friend of mine and she took the noisiest apartment in the whole place. My window not just have view on the one of busiest roads here but it’s located on the ground floor on the very edge of the road, basically my bed and the road are divided just with 50cm tick wall. Am I just lucky!!! But I guess I can always sleep on the beach.
Back to my plans, which by the way I haven’t got the reserved plan.
Once again I am confronted with so many decisions. Where to live, what to do, who to date, what to do for my parents and brothers, and what to do for others… These decisions are very important and I don’t know how to deal with them so I often let them decide alone. But I struggle even with small things like which postcard to choose. Sometimes I think if we don’t have choice it would be better, easier life, no decisions to make. Can you imagine that!! Sometimes this thinking leads me back in past, thinking that if Adam and Eve didn’t have choice we will all be happy people today. I know that it isn’t easy like that, or it is?! But we never can’t learn how to choose always right thing, I can even see myself wakening for 30 years and looking back on my life thinking what a waste.
My Christians friends would say just have patience and ask God for help, and He will tell you. Is it easy like that? Why is it that he doesn’t talk with me? I would be very happy to do it His way; it would take the trouble of making bad decision from my back! So God, friends, whoever… all suggestions welcomed!
On the way home I had good plan: first to take entrance exam for the University and of course pass it and then in autumn go to Zagreb and study it next four years. In the meantime I would spent this summer on the island of Pag in beautiful place called Novalja, where I worked pervious four summer, working there as a waitrosse again. That would be ideally for me. But somehow things went wrong and instead I didn’t pass the exam, I work the most boring job you can find – Souvenir shop (except maybe warehouse, sorry Kristin :). At least I have good boss and I am in Novalja. But even there I can find remark; I live with friend of mine and she took the noisiest apartment in the whole place. My window not just have view on the one of busiest roads here but it’s located on the ground floor on the very edge of the road, basically my bed and the road are divided just with 50cm tick wall. Am I just lucky!!! But I guess I can always sleep on the beach.
Back to my plans, which by the way I haven’t got the reserved plan.
Once again I am confronted with so many decisions. Where to live, what to do, who to date, what to do for my parents and brothers, and what to do for others… These decisions are very important and I don’t know how to deal with them so I often let them decide alone. But I struggle even with small things like which postcard to choose. Sometimes I think if we don’t have choice it would be better, easier life, no decisions to make. Can you imagine that!! Sometimes this thinking leads me back in past, thinking that if Adam and Eve didn’t have choice we will all be happy people today. I know that it isn’t easy like that, or it is?! But we never can’t learn how to choose always right thing, I can even see myself wakening for 30 years and looking back on my life thinking what a waste.
My Christians friends would say just have patience and ask God for help, and He will tell you. Is it easy like that? Why is it that he doesn’t talk with me? I would be very happy to do it His way; it would take the trouble of making bad decision from my back! So God, friends, whoever… all suggestions welcomed!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Dinner at Bernie and Jean's
In this photo from left to right: Kristin, Becca, Torgeir, Rich, Jean, Bernie and me taking the picture. Jean said that I am now like a kid with a new toy!It was a delicious dinner! We had a starter, lasagna for the main course and a dessert. Yummy!!! Back home from time to time I used to make lunch for my friends, they always liked my lasagna but I never liked to make it because it is too much work. So Jean's effort was really appreciated! Also we heard many interesting stories about how a coal miner became a children's worker.
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