Albatros

London, Tokyo, Dubrava…

2009-01-16T00:11:00.001Z

When I came back home after all my trips abroad a friend said to me: London, Tokyo, Dubrava… Where did it all go wrong?
In fact, where did it all go wrong or has it? Is it that I don’t see returning home in the best light, that I regard living in a part of town which is not the best one as a step down? Or is it just a step on the way up? How many times do you find yourself at a crossroads, because it seems to me that every path I choose leads only to the next crossroads? Will I ever choose a straight road? That’s how I am; full of questions but too few answers, always in the throes of decision-making.

However if I think more positively it has been a valuable experience, I have met a lot of nice people, seen different places and got to know different cultures. Anyway, that’s how people see it. I often wonder why I see only the negative side of it. Whenever memories of past times come up, it just makes me feel sad. The bad times are over and I am happy about that, but the good times are over too and I hate thinking about that. Often I think of people I met and liked, but for some reason I will not see them again and I miss them.

It is easier to look back on life; one can recall one’s ups and downs. I am happy with how things have developed in my life, but I often wonder how it would be if I had chosen a different path. If I had stayed at home, surrounded by the same people all my life, I could have had strong and deep relations with friends and would have been happy, as I would not have wondered how it might have been, because I wouldn’t have experienced anything else. Everything so ordinary, easy, in a way, romantic, how lovely!

In this respect, I don’t regret anything I have done, but keep thinking of ways to prolong my journey. Whatever decision I make I know/hope it isn’t the final one. I have seen a lot of things, but equally I have become aware of how much more I haven’t seen. So many contradictions in me! Happy about everything, but at the same time miserable, keen to be on the move, but at the same time yearning to settle.

For now my suitcase is empty and waiting for another opportunity.

At least it’s good that in my case all roads lead to London.)).

Culture shock Japan

2008-02-10T12:52:00.000Z

You might think that everything about this topic has already been said and there is nothing to add, but I still have a wish to write about my experience. Because somehow when things are happening to you it feels unique. As many of you are familiar with, I spent 10 months in England and encountering their customs I thought how different they are from what I am used to, but coming here I realise that there is always a lot of truth in a stereotype and that the farther you go from home the greater the difference in culture.

I should say that there is a certain amount of similarity with England: driving on the left side of the road, being private people and extremely polite. But here it stops! They even have levels of politeness in speaking, something like: words for your nearest and dearest, then words to be polite, then words to be even more polite. I notice that they are very skilful in avoiding any physical contact, here bowing comes in. Unwritten rules about how low and how long your bow should be and how many times you should bow still confuse me, so I just ignore it and only give a greeting. However when I understand it better I might start to bow, it will certainly do my tummy muscles good. :) Speaking with a Japanese friend of mine, I discovered that even at home with parents they don’t kiss or hug each other which for me is unimaginable.

I have noticed that they like colours, the lady passengers come with all the colours of the rainbow on their head; yellow, blue, pink, purple… and also the fish come in all the colours you can think of. Then again – the food!!! When you enter a Japanese restaurant the very first thing that happens is that a wave of smell hits you in the face; the kind of smell that comes from very old sports shoes. Then you might have difficulty finding a comfortable seat because everything is small here and there is not much room between the chair and the table. The other thing which might upset you is the sound and sight of people sucking noodles into their mouth. In the end you might be forced to learn how to use chopstick because the other option is a very small child's fork. The sweets are very often made from beans, and what annoys me so much is that they don’t have any decent sized packets of chocolate and biscuits, they are all very small. Even well known firms like the English one, McVities, make special packets for the Japanese market – a big box has 10 biscuits in it and all of them are packed separately. Ice cream as well is a headache, you can find any weird taste on earth but it is hard to find plain chocolate. And the water!!! It is supposed to be a liquid without smell, taste and colour but not here, their water is bitter.

Since English is an international language you would expect to find somebody who speaks at least very basic English. But the very moment you step on Japanese soil -forget it! This is when your imagination and creativity start working and you find other ways of communicating. Especially if you are like me and find yourself in an unknown town surrounded by lots of people and tall buildings and your duty starts in 20 min time. What do you do? Of course in a panic you ask people around you for directions, but when you encounter uncomprehending looks on all the faces and the only white woman you meet doesn’t speak English either, you run into the first FedEx building, thinking this is an American firm so they will be able to communicate, but you are wrong once again, then a brilliant idea comes to your mind and you draw the boat with its name Asuka II on it and you see a smile on the Japanese lady's face as if a light bulb has been switched on, then you know you are saved. She kindly goes out onto the street with you and points you in the right direction.
By the way, I was running and putting on my stockings in the elevator but I managed to arrive on time.

Japanese script is a story on its own. We use only one script, Roman or Cyrillic in neighbouring countries, the alphabet varies depending on the country but is made up of no more than 35 letters, I would say. But for the Japanese that’s too easy so they make it more interesting. For them one alphabet is not enough, neither is two but three will do and all of them together contain a couple of thousand symbols. Which I don’t see the point of because even people with the highest education don’t know more than two hundred.
Have you ever seen a Japanese book?! Many of them start from the back and the lines are written vertically. All upside down!! Also when you enter a shop everything is in their script as if the tourist and the many foreigners who do business in Japan don’t exist. They like their own words and don’t like to make adjustments for anybody.

In Japan there are very strict rules about gambling so they find a way to get round the law: they still gamble, buying the chips but with no money involved. Nothing in return, only if you are very lucky you could get a t-shirt or a hat. Very clever!

In the shopping malls or markets, you hear from all sides people shouting: “irashamasse”; and that means welcome in Japanese, but I think that somebody should tell them that the word itself doesn’t make you feel welcome if nobody looks at you, smiles or leaves what they are doing to help you. Suppose that’s involves too much thinking for them, especially when they were clever enough to invent machines which would do that for them. Here I am thinking of: small machines in the buses into which you put your money and which tell you if it is not enough, or those in shops which say exactly how much they should give back, robot football team… Now they can rest their brain.

I read a book called Culture shock Japan; and according to the author, when you think that anything around you doesn’t make sense and when you start eating more often than usual in McDonalds, then you are displaying symptoms of culture shock. If that is so, I think I am a sufferer. :)

My Japanese adventure

2008-01-25T09:19:00.001Z

I am a person who likes to explore, to meet different cultures and people, I just enjoy that. I notice that I am happiest when I move around. There are many places where I like to be, where I feel at home but always after some time I look for a change, routine is something that kills me. So my curious nature is partly to blame for the fact that I find myself here on the other side of the world, far from anything familiar to me. Partly money, partly a wish to travel and partly circumstance.

I have been in Japan a month now and I have a lot to tell, don’t even know where to start and it is sometimes hard to describe the absurd everyday situations here. Until now I have been out of touch because I had a bit of a rough start here, I have been busy trying to learn how things work here and to fit in as fast as possible.

Prepare yourself because I will start my tale from the beginning. I had a wonderful week in London, meeting all my friends and being in church again I felt so blessed, so I charged my batteries for my journey into the unknown. Martin and Annette once again drove me to the airport and made sure that I had everything I needed. The 13 hour flight to Tokyo was very exciting for me, probably like most things you do for the first time. Usually when there is any motion I fall asleep very easily no matter how uncomfortable the seat is, but not this time. I was enjoying the non-stop service, watched three films, kept checking where we were at a given moment on the monitor in front of me, and every now and then, following Annette’s instructions, I had a short walk around the seats looking at the other passengers sleeping. Even the food was very good, I thought. Finally on 19 December around 10 am I arrived at Narita airport and the company agent was waiting for me. Mr. Murimoto, as he introduced himself, took me and the two other girls to a nearby hotel so we could have one night's rest. So that was good, but still not enough considering the next day was the longest day in my life. We woke up at 7am, had breakfast and then I was confronted with the harsh reality. They drove us to the ship, then we were introduced to the rules and safety procedures on the ship, had crew drill, and started work straightaway, with no food and no water. I felt like it was wartime and was just managing to keep from bursting into tears. On duty I wasn’t prepared for speaking only Japanese especially not knowing a word of it, so another misconception I had about how advanced and high-tech Japan is where people speak English was removed. Then I found out that we don’t have internet access either and the fact that I wouldn’t be able to contact my loved ones easily made me very sad, and helpless. The day finished at 10pm and I was able to have a good night's sleep and tried to think through all this and take stock of the situation I had put myself in.

The next two weeks were quite hard for me as well. I was just thrown in the deep end and needed to learn how to swim before I sank. Standing all day, my feet were killing me, so much that I couldn’t walk in the first few ports we visited, all I could think of was where to find somewhere to sit down. I was struggling to: learn Japanese and understand the menu, cope with the routine of laundry washing days and meals, understand the incomprehensible Japanese English of my managers, deal with my stolen bag while finding no help here… My bad sense of direction or lack of it at all was also a big problem for me, especially because the ship is big and it is all the same here and I was lost at regular intervals and my colleagues kept finding that amusing.

Writing this I can tell with certainty that I am a good swimmer.  I have learnt enough Japanese to take the orders and every day I'm broadening my vocabulary; I have learnt how to nod my head like all the others when our managers tell us something, making a joint effort later to work out what they want; incredibly I don’t get lost anymore, at least not on the ship; my shoes don't bother me anymore. I could even say that I have started to enjoy it and I could get used to this. Every time waking up in another place and every day starting all over again to be surprised at and amused by the absurd Japanese culture about which I will talk in another post.

PS - If you want to see some photos just click on the right-hand link. :))

Rob Bell

2008-01-16T09:27:00.000Z

Just something I think might be worth while of watching!

Memories and slow trains

2007-11-12T23:03:00.000Z

The other day when I was taking a train from Zagreb to Rijeka
and back, my mp3 was out of battery (don't know how that
happened when I had charged it all night, me and technology
again!?), the only book that I had with me was the Bible and the
journey was endless.  And to all who don't know, I have a very vivid
imagination and I am very nostalgic as well.  All the way I was
recalling my childhood memories. There is a book that I have wanted
to read since high school, Proust - Combray.  I started it and I loved
it, but then I had other things to do and I never got back to it.
Anyway, there is a famous passage when he, as an adult, has a cup of
tea and when he dunks that French cake called a Madeleine into the tea,
the taste of the cake melting under his tongue takes him back to his
childhood and the next few pages are all about that.  Don't know why
many people find that boring?! :)  I love it because I can identify with
that,I understand how he must have been feeling then.  Numerous times
in my life smells, tastes, shapes, things, gestures... make me feel the
same.

Even though trains in Croatia are very slow and very rarely on time, I
prefer to travel that way; not just because they are much cheaper than
buses but also because of the intimacy of the compartment.  Chatting with
random people is something that takes me back to my past. And as is
well known, the past is always the best, maybe because we have already
gone through it or, in this particular case, because it brings back my
happiest memories of times that I spent with my family. In the village
where we lived there are just 500 inhabitants now and things there never
change.  If you didn't have a car there the only way you could come and go
was by train.

So all you in the western world where the infrastructure was developed
many years ago and who now travel in a fast underground or a train crammed
with people, but still travel alone trying to avoid any possible eye contact
with a stranger, I think you are missing out on something.

I am not a modest person and I have many wishes in life and one of my
wishes related to this subject is to take a journey on the Trans-Siberian
Railway. 15 days in an old style train, sharing a compartment with all kinds
of people, seeing such different places from what I am used to, and all
the wonders of nature there.
Ooh!!

...decisions, decisions, decisions...

2007-07-23T11:39:00.000+01:00

Ten month in foreign land is a long time. Especially living in somebody house and not need to think of anything else but work was nice break from reality. Now I am home, still need get used on some things, I am not same person anymore and still having mixed feelings about Croatia and England. I look same and I didn’t lose my stupid stubborn attitude but somehow I feel like I don’t fit in here but I don’t quite know where I fit. One of my fears was that I will just continue to live old life, like nothing happen. Maybe is now too early to say, but it seems like my fear comes truth. It is hard to be different person, Jesus disciple in same old surrounding.

On the way home I had good plan: first to take entrance exam for the University and of course pass it and then in autumn go to Zagreb and study it next four years. In the meantime I would spent this summer on the island of Pag in beautiful place called Novalja, where I worked pervious four summer, working there as a waitrosse again. That would be ideally for me. But somehow things went wrong and instead I didn’t pass the exam, I work the most boring job you can find – Souvenir shop (except maybe warehouse, sorry Kristin :). At least I have good boss and I am in Novalja. But even there I can find remark; I live with friend of mine and she took the noisiest apartment in the whole place. My window not just have view on the one of busiest roads here but it’s located on the ground floor on the very edge of the road, basically my bed and the road are divided just with 50cm tick wall. Am I just lucky!!! But I guess I can always sleep on the beach.

Back to my plans, which by the way I haven’t got the reserved plan.

Once again I am confronted with so many decisions. Where to live, what to do, who to date, what to do for my parents and brothers, and what to do for others… These decisions are very important and I don’t know how to deal with them so I often let them decide alone. But I struggle even with small things like which postcard to choose. Sometimes I think if we don’t have choice it would be better, easier life, no decisions to make. Can you imagine that!! Sometimes this thinking leads me back in past, thinking that if Adam and Eve didn’t have choice we will all be happy people today. I know that it isn’t easy like that, or it is?! But we never can’t learn how to choose always right thing, I can even see myself wakening for 30 years and looking back on my life thinking what a waste.

My Christians friends would say just have patience and ask God for help, and He will tell you. Is it easy like that? Why is it that he doesn’t talk with me? I would be very happy to do it His way; it would take the trouble of making bad decision from my back! So God, friends, whoever… all suggestions welcomed!

Dinner at Bernie and Jean's

2007-05-13T10:45:00.000+01:00

In this photo from left to right: Kristin, Becca, Torgeir, Rich, Jean, Bernie and me taking the picture. Jean said that I am now like a kid with a new toy!

It was a delicious dinner! We had a starter, lasagna for the main course and a dessert. Yummy!!! Back home from time to time I used to make lunch for my friends, they always liked my lasagna but I never liked to make it because it is too much work. So Jean's effort was really appreciated! Also we heard many interesting stories about how a coal miner became a children's worker.

Best birthday ever

2007-05-12T19:13:00.000+01:00

It’s the week after and, although I’m still recovering from the shock of the surprise party which took place on 3rd May at Sharon’s, I am able to give you a short report.

Well, believe it or not, I am quite a shy girl who doesn’t like much attention, so that’s part of the reason why I never celebrate my birthday and the other part is that since I was a little girl in our family we never celebrated birthdays, so I didn’t get into that habit.
However, turning 24, I had my first surprise party and the main culprit was my lovely Irish friend Sharon and her helpers in the crime were my other lovely friends Becca and Rich. I thought that the four of us would have a quiet dinner. First I went to Becca and Rich’s for a glass of champagne and then we went to Sharon’s together, but when I opened the door what I found there was anything but a quiet dinner. A bunch of people singing Happy Birthday! O man!!! Sensible as I am, I burst into tears, but with the help of a cocktail I recovered quickly. Almost everyone in London who means something to me was there, which tells me that Sharon is a good listener and a good liar. I didn’t have a clue that she was planning something! She manages to be excused because she gave me the latest book by my hero – Tony Campolo. :)

All this brought me down to earth once again! Just before the party, in my usual mood, I was moaning to Martin and Annette how I and my life were miserable. Being blessed with such friends who like and care about me I ought to be grateful and happy!

Thank you to all you guys who participated in one way or another and thanks for all the lovely cards! I really enjoyed it!

Weymouth

That wasn’t all! On Saturday, my actual birthday, Martin and Annette took me to Weymouth – a beautiful English town on the coast. Knowing my love for the sea, they wanted to treat me and, as if it wasn’t enough, they gave me a brand new digital camera. Wow, what a family I have! We visited Martin’s father and his friend Sheila who spoilt us over those two days.
The day was absolutely perfect – sunny; we had lunch in the garden, a few meters from the sea, literally; then we went for a walk; enjoyed a glass of champagne; had a light dinner then went to bed totally happy and knackered. :)

I got many cards with beautiful messages and some really nice gifts. I felt special and I think I will remember my 24th birthday always!

Paris again

2007-05-01T15:44:00.000+01:00

As I said in the previous blog I went to Paris again but this time it was spring and in the company of my team mates. And also as I promised you and myself I climbed the Eiffel Tower. It was a demanding task; a couple of hours queuing but in the company of Miko - a man of few words and my Croatian friend Davorka - a woman of far too many words:)). Time just flew by.

The weather was fantastic so we spent most of our time outside, exploring Paris.
The purpose of our trip was work, not holiday as you might think!
We met two volunteers in Paris who are part of the same program U-turn; we had a look at what they are doing. The other reason was to participate in a Camp for leaders. The Camp was located two hours’ drive from Paris in the forest, in the middle of nowhere, which was excellent. It is nice sometimes go away, take a break from the everyday rush.

Below you can see pics from the camp! Isn't it just beautiful?!

This whole “adventure” took nine days and for me it’s always nice to go somewhere, but after being seven months in England, I had started feeling at home there and during that time I had never been away for more than 4 days. So I was really looking forward to coming back to London. Also I realise how hard it will be for me to leave in June, even though I complain a lot! I have the feeling I might miss London more than I miss Croatia now.

The other thing that makes me sad is the state of the church in France. It is quite similar to Croatia. In both countries the Protestant church is in the minority and I felt a lack of spirituality and that people are not very open to change. Many people wear Lutheran crosses; so that everybody can see which denomination they belong to, as if that is important in the Church of Christ. Once again I felt blessed to be part of St. Stephens.
But still, it seems that things are getting better there. They have very good outreach amongst young people with the mission organisation - MIJI, through different activities that they organise, such as camps, sports events etc.

Missionary meeting

Straight after Paris we headed towards Hoddesdon were we had our MM. We stayed two nights in a conference centre there. The place is huge, really pretty, with a nice garden, so nice that it made me get up before breakfast and go jogging. I dare to say that the food was very good considering that was English! I ate too much!

We were a group of 16 missionaries/volunteers from Paris, Norway and London and three French pastors’ kids. We worshipped, prayed, shared our reports and experiences, had teaching and played a few games. They were a good couple days!

On the right is a photo of the group of us at Hoddesdon and on the left are two ladies who were our hosts in Paris.

In the meantime...

2007-04-04T13:34:00.000+01:00

These days I identify with Asterix – the only cartoon I continued to watch as an adult. In the cartoon before something drastic is about to happen they always say “Meanwhile...” That’s when the daily life of the inhabitants in a small Gallic village is described: Asterix flirting, Obelix continuing to care for the obelisks, the druid, Getafix, researching different herbs… life goes on! Then all of a sudden there is the war, chaos and then all goes back to normal again.

I am not sure why I like this cartoon, maybe because it is classified as a historical comedy so I can say that it is a way to improve my general knowledge and it is funny too. :))

Anyway, to draw a parallel – in September when I arrived here it was all very exciting, everything was new, I didn’t know a single person here and I had never worked in a church before. It sounds frightening but for me it was also challenging; I have learned a lot and am still learning, I have had good and bad moments, I have met lots of different people. After 7 months here, I find myself in a routine again; day after day, week after week just repeating the same things. This Saturday I am going to France with some team mates; not sure what we will do there, but any change is a good change. When I come back to England I will have just over two months left which I am certain will fly by. Having to think about what to do next year, entertaining some friends who will come to visit me and maybe being given some new tasks in the summer term will contribute to that.

So what have I been up to in the meantime?!
Well, I can’t say that I wasn’t looked after. Our boss, Sarah took us to Oxford. We spent a day there walking around, sneaking into the college gardens; it’s a university town and it seems a nice place to study. I thought it was very pretty, with the charm of Italian towns.
I also started dancing classes – never danced before but I love it; for 28 days I didn’t eat any sugar – it was a real struggle because I have a sweet tooth; finally started jogging regularly – which I am very proud of; read a couple of books; hooked on Tony Campolo’s talks. That is about it!

These photos show Oxford! Little bit of culture...

...and non culture....

Sometimes it sounds as if I’m complaining; maybe I do complain but I like life as it is – a circle, now and then broken.

My guardian angels

2007-02-14T15:50:00.000Z

I feel as if I should share this with the whole wide world!
It has been five and a half months since I’ve been in England and working for St. Stephens, and I have learnt a lot and seen very different church practice from in my country. What I didn’t know before and I was never taught in my religious studies classes or in my home church is that we as Christians are able to have a relationship with our God. Relationship – we all know what that means. We all have some kind of relationship with our families, friends or boyfriends/girlfriends. So we can agree that it works both ways, you give and receive. It is the same with God! He talks to us, all we need to do is to expect, to listen and to recognize His voice.

I kind of believed this but was still very sceptical and frustrated because I had come to a Church where people had a relationship with God and all this seemed very normal for them. I had the feeling that God didn’t want to speak to me and that I didn’t belong here. Until I recognised His voice! I learnt that He often speaks in a still small voice or through other people. It happened like this for me!

When I was at the TNT weekend away we broke into small groups and than we were supposed to listen to God and pray one for another. I felt uncomfortable because this was very new for me and I didn’t hear anything. But one girl got for me the very well known Psalm of David, Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

This has always been one of my favourite passages in the Bible. But of course my sceptical and suspicious nature told me that it was just a famous Psalm and that it didn’t speak to me.
Then a couple of months later out of the blue I got a letter from a friend of mine with this drawing.

In case you don’t realise she has written a verse from Ps 23. in Croatian.
Again I thought the same! It was just coincidence! But later on when I was preparing the devotions for my team mates with my mentor she mentioned, guess what? Ps23!?
Even though I am a tough nut I had a chat with her about it and realized that all this time God had been trying to speak to me and I had been refusing to hear. All these people have been Christians for a long time and they know the Bible well and they could have chosen any verse.
It was just what I needed! God’s comfort, words from Him telling me that I am not alone.

Just to clarify for those who don’t know about my life:
From the age of 7 I lived in a Children’s home together with about 60 other kids aged from 3 to 18. Then during the last five years I moved around a lot, but I always felt that I was not alone and I made friends easily and during my life there have been various people looking after me. Practically nobody brought me up but I turned out well. I hope! :) You can call this coincidence but I acknowledge that it was God guarding me. It is generally thought that to build a friendship takes years but my experience tells me that when Jesus is my friend I don’t need to be afraid of loneliness. Things just happen in the best way!

Maybe this is strange for you and I find it hard to speak about because I am afraid that people will think I am mad or fanatical; but as our worship pastor said people thought Jesus was a fanatic. So I think I can cope with it!

I would like introduce you to some of my guardian angels as I like to think of them!

Melanie and Vlado are a lovely couple from Croatia. She is a pastor in my home church in Rijeka and he is a lawyer to be, a technology fanatic and hot Simpson’s fan. Strange combination, I know! He cannot always solve my computer problems and sometimes I need to fill their fridge but they will always give me a warm home and chat with me.

Becca and Rich are another lovely couple but from England. She works in the church office and he is an editor. Becca likes good food and Gordon Ramsay; he likes cycling. Both are very passionate Christians and active in the church. I have known them for 5 and a half months and to be honest I didn’t find it very easy to get on with Becca at first, but now I love them and feel as if I have known them for ever. She can tell by my attitude when I am not ok. Sometimes I pop into their flat but I don’t always get offered chocolate or their full attention, which I would certainly expect from British people but they always listen and give support!

My host family Martin and Annette who I wrote about in my first blog (http://rada-albatros.blogspot.com/2006/10/hello-everybody.html) are like a real family to me: supportive, caring and they often counsel me. I have quite a definite point of view and they help me to see things from a different angle, more objectively.

Pastor Luke is a very unusual pastor who likes jewellery (he has pierced ears), has a huge tattoo, never wears robes, may not be big in height but has a big serving heart. He is always ready to help, sincere but kind. I wish I could have some of his characteristics.

There are many more but those at the moment are the closest and I don’t want to bore you.

The beauty of the countryside

2007-01-09T05:13:00.000Z

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him the son of man that you care for him? Ps 8: 3-4

On Boxing Day I went to Cornwall for a few days together with the Duffys. It was just what I needed after 4 months work and all the Christmas busyness; a peaceful place on the coast. The sea is for me very important and I always think that if someone told me that I could choose a place to live, anywhere in the world, my only wish is that it should be on the coast. Warm weather and mild winters are desirable but not necessary! :)
The Cornish coast is beautiful, wild and dramatic; nothing like in Croatia!!! Also there are tides - high tide when there is not much beach and low tide when there is lots of sand.

The company was excellent and the days passed quickly. During the day we walked on the cliffs where the only noise that we could hear was the crashing of the waves, looking around the nearest towns, surfing and unavoidable browsing in the shops and doing shopping at which Martin was the hottest. In the evenings we gathered together and played some party games and chatted. It was very relaxing!

The other thing that I like about Cornwall is that when you are there it seems as if modernisation hasn’t reached there. Even though it is the most popular place for holidays in Britain they are still without a motorway, the coast area is not so built up,
there are no big apartment buildings, you need do your shopping for supper at the old fashioned family butcher… In some ways it seems that time stops when you are there, at least in the winter.

I needed to take this picture of the old manual scale. I found it in one of the local shops there. It reminds me of my childhood. Until I was 7 years old I lived in a small village where the fruit
man came in his van a few times a week, honking while he drove down the street and stopping in front of people’s houses selling fruit and vegetables. The manual scale was the main part of his equipment.

This is just a cute photo of a doctor's surgery that Andy took.

St. Stephens is a church with 600 members and it is impossible to know all of them: so I am especially glad that Andy, one of the worship leaders came with us and I had the chance to get to know him better. I discovered that he is more than a pretty face. :) He is a wonderful man – funny, caring, patient, relaxed, godly… Only I wish that his politeness wouldn’t stop him being frank when need be.

A bit of everything...

2007-01-03T23:21:00.000Z

I realise that you can’t live in Britain and not talk about the weather. Why?? Lately I have been lucky enough to experience all the beauty of the British weather - changeable and foggy; it makes you notice the sunny days. I like to sleep with the curtains open, because I like it when, ideally, the sun or at least the daylight wakes me up. But for days the only thing that I can see from my window is grey sky and it stays like this the whole day. It makes me feel like staying in bed. This scene reminds me of my favourite Elvis Presley song – In the ghetto. The song starts like this: “Cold and grey Chicago morning…” it is a very good song but quite depressing.
Anyway as they said “After the rain comes the sun.” and I won’t complain anymore because the weather is improving.

Christmas was amazing here!!! As in my country, there is a lot of food, but the whole atmosphere is very different. It seems that Christmas here lasts longer. This is good in many ways because it gives you enough time to celebrate with everyone: friends, colleagues, families.
The church with all the candles and the decorations looked beautiful. The carol services were well done and moving. I don’t know how to explain but I was very happy to be part of all this.
I was involved in all the church preparations and parties from the beginning of December so by Christmas Day I was really fed up and I couldn’t wait to finish it. On Christmas Day I helped with the Christmas lunch for people on their own, together with Martin and Annette. That was nice but I didn’t have any more will and I was just thinking about my holiday in Cornwall where I was going on Boxing Day. So I believe for those people I wasn’t very good company, which I feel bad about. But you can’t blame me! :)

CHRISTMAS EVE – after the midnight service, which was great, we opened presents. In the photo above I am posing next to the Christmas tree in my Parisian boots which were a present also.

I was brought up in a small village near the farm where my dad used to work. I have seen all the domestic animals: pigs, cows, chickens, horses etc. I have seen and helped also with growing vegetables.
I didn’t think that this was a big deal until recently when I was at one lunch friends my age hadn’t ever seen what horseradish and beetroot look like. They think that those vegetables grow in jars! Of course the part about the jars is a joke. But still I feel lucky knowing that I was able to participate in milking the cows, collecting the eggs, picking the beetroot…

I can see future generations of pupils going into a museum to see all those things, or maybe what is even more popular thematic weekends on the topic “The life of our ancestors!”

Damn average!

2006-12-24T19:11:00.000Z

I was brought up with the thought that I am average! In the children’s home where I lived and in the schools I attended I was never the worst, never the best. I was just good; a person that people didn’t talk about much. For many years I just accepted this and didn’t try to change anything. I was told that I wasn’t good enough to go to the gymnasium (academic school), or to take part in the lessons for the more able students (which I was very keen to do). Neither was I good enough to join the sports club (I liked basketball… and still do).

You would hardly believe now how very shy and closed I was; I didn’t talk at all. As you would probably guess my self-confidence was well below average.

Over the last few years I have been learning to appreciate myself. I started to believe that I was worthy. I succeeded in gaining a scholarship to go to university. I was very proud about that even though later I needed to quit before I could finish my degree. From my 18th birthday I had to take care of my self alone, and when I was able I tried to take care of others as well.

I gradually changed into a very open and sincere person, which got me into trouble many times. However, I began to think that I was doing well!

Recently something happened that shook my confidence and reminded me of the beginning again. It made me realise that maybe whatever I do I will be just average…but I still don’t know how to cope with this.

This is the story of my life - I am good at table tennis but never the winner, good with people but never the leader, clever but still without a diploma…

Martin said that at some point in my life I will find the things at which I am very good, because everybody does eventually. I consider myself optimistic so I will just say that I hope I will.

At one time I wanted to know my IQ, just because I was curious, but I was never able to take the tests. Now I see that it is maybe better for me that I don’t know!

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose!

2006-12-08T23:00:00.000Z

Some people here whom I meet weekly regularly ask the question “Did you have a good week?” and often instead of goodbye they say “Have a good week!”

Until now I thought that I had fallen into a routine. Nothing new happens and it is not a nice feeling for a 23 year old girl living without excitement, the same thing every day. It can be depressing. But luckily I can say that last week was very good in many ways.

First I beat Martin at chess. Believe me that is such a big success and a good feeling because he is mathematician and very good at chess. All this helped to boost my ego. So bravo me!

Then I had the chance to get to know my fellow worker Torgeir better. We spent more time together and I really enjoyed it. It is good for both of us because we are in the same situation and it helps to have somebody to share things with. What I like most about him is that he is closer to my culture and he says how he feels and doesn’t try to be nice just to avoid offending me. So he is for me in many ways a relief.

Torgeir pretends to be a tough guy (He think Bruce Willis is a cool guy – Die Hard!?) but he really likes my hugs!

And the icing on the cake! My family treated me to a weekend in Paris! This was extremely nice.

Photos below - finally I was in a city that I knew just from movies and books!

Those who know me well know that travel and chocolate are my favourite things.
Many asked how it was and what I did. I feel like I don’t know what to say. I didn’t go into the Louvre because I am not an artistic type; I don’t fancy looking for hours at pictures and sculpture nor did I go to the top of the Eiffel tower this time - but this was just because we were short of time and also Martin doesn’t have a head for heights. But I like panoramic views and I will go there next year with my Norwegian fellow workers so that I will not miss it. Instead we did a lot of walking and chatting. For me this made for a good relaxing weekend!

One day Andy stayed with us. It was good to have him around but the trouble is that he is always busy. I’m still not sure whether this is because girls are chasing him or because he is an IT expert! Look at this! What a view! I don’t know what Paradise looks like but for sure lying on a beach sounds perfect!

I also had a typical girl’s moment in Paris – shopping troubles! Terrible!!! I saw some boots but they cost quite a lot and I wasn’t sure if I would have the guts to wear them because I am always in casual gear. I could have sat for hours in that department store and still not have decided, but fortunately we didn’t have a lot of time so I decided to buy them at the last minute. My family paid part as my Christmas present so in the end they were not so expensive. Kind of them! Thanks!

Here you are. I am showing my Croatian politeness to British people in a crowded Parisian Department store.

But as you know it can’t always be perfect! When I left Britain it went smoothly but when I came back they treated me as I am a state enemy no.1. All this checking of my passport and questions, as if my visa was not valid. It seems as if they have problems trusting people! My stay was approved by the British consul. He was a nice man and I am sure that he would be offended if he knew about this. :))

Last time when I was on my way back from Croatia a lady from the immigration office asked me what I doing in Britain and I explained. Then she asked how I would benefit from being a volunteer and it was on the tip of my tongue to say that my real intention was to marry a British chap and stay here forever. Luckily I am cleverer than that so in order to spare myself more inconvenience I said that I just wanted to do volunteer work.
If they were as cautious with all passengers no matter where they came from maybe no bad things would ever happen!?

After all this I am still answering “Yes, I had a good week”. But I know that things are changing and with blisters on my feet and a smile on my face I have broken the routine.

My view of Britain and British culture

2006-11-28T21:10:00.000Z

It has been three months now since I arrived here, so I have enough content for this blog but I have a feeling that as time passes I will have more and more to write on this topic!

On this theme some of the first things that foreigners associate with Britain are red phone boxes, double deckers, Shakespeare, tea, politeness… On the way here I read that in Britain you get the feeling that you have come to a land of fairytales and now I understand what this writer was speaking about. You only need to look at the names of towns, roads, streets and pubs such as: Crown road, Strawberry Hill, The Crown pub, the Royal Mail, the Royal Academy, King’s Lynn, Queens Park Rangers… Here the Queen still awards knighthoods and you see people with titles like Sir or Lord.

During our first two days in London we were given an introduction to British culture by people from the Church Mission Society. Our accommodation in the Indian YMCA didn’t help this cause much! But anyway I admit, sadly, that some of the stereotypes which they talked about are true:

TEA
Wherever you go you will be provided with a cup of tea and a biscuit. This I can easily cope with because I have always enjoyed drinking tea… but the biscuits are starting to worry me since I notice that my hips are becoming wider! There is another thing; you never notice much difference between tea and coffee. Something often goes wrong, the tea is too strong or the coffee is too weak, or both!

POLITENESS
I still struggle with this. British people often think me rude because I am direct and often say things without wrapping them up carefully first. But the trouble is that even if I want to talk like this I just don’t know how to!

All these unnecessary words like “Sorry!” and “Thank you!” and questions like “How are you?” without meaning it, but just because they don’t know what else to say, can sometimes be very annoying. Can’t they just be quiet instead?!

HUMOUR
British people often overestimate their sense of humour. I can’t remember how many times I have heard “We have a dry humour, you will not understand.” Maybe this works for Americans, but don’t worry it is not so good!
Recently I went to a comedy night but I didn’t laugh a lot because they were either speaking too fast or I didn’t know enough about British history and current affairs. I am getting there - someday maybe I will do stand up! :)

COLDNESS
In the wider world British are known as a cold nation. They will often call total strangers “Love” or “Darling” but on the other hand be quite cold to their families, partners and friends. What a contradiction!!! But I should also say that church people are a little bit warmer, although still not enough!

FOOD
How creative is it to have fish and chips or sausages and mash for your national dish? But at least they have a big choice of other cuisine! Jamie Oliver is my favourite chef and for me the second best dessert in the world is British trifle (the first is tiramisu!).

Soon after I came I needed to charge my mobile phone and then I realised that they have one more pin than everybody else in the world. Why! Aren’t two enough? It is enough for us! Or is this just to make life more difficult for us foreigners? Anyway, my creative Norwegian friend Torgeir had the idea of putting a key in the third hole in the socket. It really works but it doesn’t seem a good permanent solution (I hope you see why) so Annette bought an adapter for me!

The good thing about all this is that, with time, you learn that there is Britain and the rest of the world. You get used to the left side of the road being the right and learn that Scotland Yard is not a playground but where detectives hang out and that fireworks are amazing. British people are very busy so you have to start making appointments well in advance. There are no toothpicks in restaurants or in peoples’ houses so after having a meal you must learn to smile carefully.

Having said all this it is not so bad here!

Inside story

2006-11-23T23:45:00.000Z

The easiest way for you to get to know me better is through the books and movies I like.

I used to be a great film fan and many of my foreign friends are amazed that I learnt my English just by watching movies. However, this was a “double edged sword”. My first intention was not to learn the language; I just enjoyed staring at the screen more than everything else. Now I see how much time I wasted. I didn’t have time for my friends as there was always some movie to watch. I missed out on a lot of nice things; birthdays, enjoying the world around me just because I chose to live through Hollywood productions. The only good that came of this was that I learnt to speak English! Believe me you could learn any language this way, but is it worth it?

Anyway, I still like movies and have my favourites.

The number one is definitely One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975). As you can see it is a very old story but one for all time. It is happening today also. Jack Nicholson gives a good performance, there are dramatic, serious, sad and comic moments and it is about relationships and hope. It’s definitely worth seeing if you haven’t!

Number 2 goes to Shawshank Redemption! It is a remarkable story about great human values such as friendship, honesty, patience… Patience is the one that struck me most! It is well known that we always desire things or characteristics we don’t have. Obviously I consider myself an impatient person but I would like to be able to say the opposite in future. I recently saw it again and although this was about the tenth time I saw some different things in it. It reminded me of things that I like but have forgotten or just don’t have time to do. I speak about art, literature, music, enjoying beautiful nature. I realize how busy I had become.

Speaking about which, there is a book that I have started reading again – the Bible. It is one of my bright spots and I am proud of this. I like especially the story about Joseph. I admire how he is able to forgive even after all the bad things that his brothers did to him. I find it very hard to do this. Many times I think that I have forgiven, but I never forget. Can I really call this forgiveness?!
When I was young I used to think that I would call my son Joseph.

As for books I like reality or comedy, the same as with movies. And as a real literature lover my favourite is Russian realism, but having said that one of my favourite novels is Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco. It is one of the books that you read in one breath. It is set in a medieval convent at the time of the inquisition. It describes very well the thinking and living conditions of people of that period.

So much for now! I hope that I have managed to make you interested!

Welcome back!

2006-11-13T17:29:00.000Z

Yes, I know, I haven't writen for a while! Why is that? Well, I still don’t have photo camera and I didn’t want to make a boring blog with just writing. So, finally I got some photos from friends and lucky you can see and read what’s been happening in my life over the last couple of weeks!

Weekend in Kent

What to say then like all my British friends - "It was lovely!"

The theme of weekend was “Walking in Our Identity”. We were a group of about thirty Christians in our twenties, more or less(u can see us in the photos below). And I think this was the right topic for us because we are still at an age when we are learning and seeking the truth about ourselves. Especially today it is very easy to follow the wrong values, when we are living in a time of freedom in everything with too many choices and fake realities that come through movies, music and other commercial pressures. It is easy to forget who we are and what we are meant to do.

I think the weekend was very fruitful! We had the opportunity to examine ourselves and remind ourselves that we are here by purpose and that Our Father is looking after us and speaking to us. We just need to listen with an open heart. Some of us heard God for the first time and for those it was a remarkable experience. I need to be honest and say that I didn’t hear anything and I felt a bit left out. But as I think more about this maybe I am being too hard on myself. As I work through this I am sure that I will also be able to hear from God.

Of course it was not all so serious, we had time for fun: tennis, walking, going to the beach, chatting, generally getting to know each other better. With this kind of stuff I enjoy fellowship very much. Learning how to share space with others, tolerance or just doing something together.

All this is Annalise in her mood! Hyperactive Welsh girl! It is very good that she works as a primary school teacher because you need lots of energy there.

The boys are playing tennis or trying to play. Torgeirs first time, but they said that he was good!

Sunday morning at the beach! Weather was great, we are padaling, playing rugby, throwing the Frisbee, enjoying the sun…

We had a really good time and I would highly recommend this to everyone who has the opportunity to go!

Happiness!!!

2006-10-25T23:54:00.000+01:00

This is the tough issue that has occupied my mind over the last few days. Did you ever wonder what happiness is? What is it that makes you really happy and how long does it last?

When I was about 15 years old I met a guy who was doing civil army in the dorm where I was living. He reminded me of Jesus, at least in his appearance, and sometimes in the things that he was doing or saying. He didn’t watch TV or pay attention to his wardrobe, or what he will eat. It is really weird for today’s western society. He was pretty interested in eastern philosophy and he was doing yoga at home. He fascinated me. He had all the qualities that I appreciate - calm, honest, religious, wise, caring.
I thought he looked very satisfied and happy, so I asked him once if yoga made him happy? He answered that happiness is just momentary; it is not a permanent condition and it is not something that you can buy (yoga courses).

I agree with him even though I would like to be happy more of the time. Last few days I was sad - bothered by thousands of worries and I struggle to find things that can make me happy, help to resolve my problems or forget them.

Looking for happiness is what brings me here in the first place!

Another friend of mine who lived about ten years as a volunteer without earning any wages told me once that you can be happy only if you put God first, caring for others second and your self third. That made me think God is already my priority and I know that I most enjoy helping others. So that gave birth to the idea about the things that I am doing now.

I don’t know where things have gone wrong but I am sure that they will be better again. Tomorrow I am going do some shopping. They said that shopping cheers every girl! And I am also looking forward to this weekend when I will go with other people of my age from church to somewhere in Kent.

Sorry guys if I bring you into depression but I won’t write just about the bright side.

Hello everybody!!!

2006-10-22T18:18:00.000+01:00

I know what you’re thinking! Horrible template!! It is true! But I am not very good with computers and technology in general so until somebody takes pity on me and helps me to change, I’m afraid you together with me have to stand this.

Anyway, I should tell you how I got idea to get a blog.
I like literature, I even tried to study it but I was never good at writing, so I would never think about this before.

The bloke in this photo mentioned to me this crazy but tempting idea. So here I am! And if you have any complaints send it to his account!
By the way – next to him you can see his lovely wife Annette. And they are my host family during my stay in England, which will last for about 11 months. Lucky them!!!

Meet the Duffy’s!

The head of the family is Martin. He is a doctor in maths, but he works as a stock broker. As long as he deals with numbers it is OK. A quiet, smart, competitive and incredibly funny guy! His other passion but numbers are chess and table tennis. There we have something in common!

You wouldn’t believe how much he likes chess! In ancient times when computers were far in the future he used to play chess with unknown people via letters. So in each letter he wrote one single move and sent it, than he waited for answer, then he’d send the next move…. If you still remember how slow post was, than you know that one game would last for ages. Literally!!!

Table tennis!? Another weak spot! Usually this patient man becomes inpatient and competitive as I mention before. Expressions like it is important to play, spend time together etc., are useless. This man likes to win!

His better half and neck of the house (move head in direction she wants) is Annette.
She is a proper British wife – polite, classy, fussy, always smiling, hospitable…

She’s a French teacher! What else to say!?
Annette likes relaxing, nature, reading and Lensbury club where she goes when she needs think or be alone and sometimes for gym.

Altogether a really lovely family! And, I would say, quite brave people when they dare to accomodate themselves and receive a totally stranger in their house. I wish more families were like this! Hope they won’t regret me being here.

Lots of my time is spent hanging out with them. Especially evenings chatting while we drink camomile tea.
I just never understand why they go so early to bed (between 11 and 12pm).